As I begin the new year, I find myself very intrigued by this concept. A few years ago, I dropped everything and moved to California to start a new life. To figure out who I am in this chaotic, whirlwind journey called life. The people I met, the places I traveled to, and the opportunities I made for myself could provide for a fascinating autobiography. (And if I ever find the time, I'd love to write an Elizabeth Gilbert-esq book on my self discoveries and experiences, if for no other person, than myself).
On the surface, I was able to reaffirm certain things I already knew about myself. Before I moved, I knew that I never had this undying passion for accounting and knew that I could never be fulfilled and happy as an accountant. But, as with everything in my life, I just had to be sure. I had to be absolutely, 110% positive that I could not love my life as a CPA. Over time, I found it more and more difficult to find happiness. Most mornings, I'd have a hard time finding the energy to drive to work. Not in the sense of, "oh man, I have to go to work today!," but, in the "Oh my dear Lord, I honestly don't think I can handle one more second of staring hopelessly at a never ending excel spreadsheet, while dialing into yet another conference call about how my client is going to apply some ridiculously overcomplicated tax law" sense. Needless to say, after 2 years and 10 months of pretending to be happy, I left not only my job, but my profession, as well. I gave my two weeks notice and quit. I didn't have a job lined up. I didn't even have a permanent home. What I did have was the confidence that I would eventually find something that made me happy. Something that inspired me. Although I am not there yet, I am definitely on the right path. So, this brings me to the question, did I devote almost three years of my post college life to a career I have no interest in, for a reason? Honestly, that's a tough call. Yes, my experiences in my former career taught me a lot. It also exposed me to what I don't like. But didn't I already know what I didn't like? Why then, did I go down that path? Should I even be questioning it? I suppose my concern dwells within the notion that either everything happens for a reason, or nothing happens for a reason. I don't think there's segregation in this "concept." So, this brings me to my next question. If I was meant to be a CPA (even for a short lived time), am I meant to cross paths with certain people? I'm not talking about the random person I exchange a smile with in the grocery store. I'm talking about the people who have had an impact on my life. The people I have chosen to open up to, to get to know, and to and share my life with. Does every relationship and/or friendship happen for a reason? Is it fate that I am meant to share my life with x amount of people before I find that one person who is right for me? Furthermore, how do we know when we find that "right" person...Can you ever be sure? Is *anyone* ever sure? How do you know if certain people are planted in your life for good or for just a short period of time?
I'm not even sure why I burden myself with these questions, especially since I know that I'll never know most of the answers.
I know this is an abrupt halt to a seemingly complex issue, but given the therapeutic benefits writing has on me, this won't be the last time I write about this...With that being said, there will be plenty more to come....
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